FFS Dave how do I do this without you I just love you so much I yearn for you every second of the day I cant accept this its so tragic.To much for my heart to cope with . What you did to yourself breaks me and leaves my soul so dark and empty . I just want you like I've never wanted anything my life . My boy my twin its all over now lifeis never gonna be the same I just don't know who I am anymore your a missing part of my future xxx

I have felt pain in my life I have had many bad things happen to me, But nothing will ever come close to the dreaded pain that now lives inside of me. There’s an emptiness, like a deep endless void of nothing I feel numb and sadness at the same time. I want to be alone with my grief, Yet I feel like I’m on an deserted island, whilst in the middle of civilisation. Where everyone around me is going about their lives, while I’m stuck in that one moment that changed my life, and who I am forever. To feel overwhelming grief Yet feel nothing at all, To feel an inner pain, Only another grieving mother could know. To feel like you are dead inside, Where it’s a struggle to appear happy, When in reality sadness is in every breath that you take , with every beat of your heart. Living is a battle in itself, Because just existing takes everything your soul has to give. Family and friends can support us, They can hug us when we cry, They can say there here for us, But in the end , All we want is our precious child. To wrap them in our arms , Look into their eyes and tell them We love them. To hear them call us mum, To make everything better, Because that’s a mothers job. My souls searching for the light It’s searching for happiness that has been missing since the day You my precious son David Found your peace. The days that have passed Even the 15 months that have passed Have not eased my grief in any way, Its still sitting there in the depths of my soul, Calling out for what it needs to survive, ITS YOU MY BEAUTIFUL SON 💙❤️ DAVID DANIEL BOOKER I torture myself with the questions I can’t escape the voices in my head, That tells my heart it needs you, To make me feel whole again. Each day when I wake up I pray this has only been a bad dream , That I’ll see your smiling face looking back at me. I want to hear your voice I want to look into your eyes, And tell you things will get better , It might just take a little time. Sometimes I’ll see one of your friends out having fun and laughing It glues me to the spot, It breaks my heart in two. Because it’s just another reminder Of what’s missing in my life, The most precious gift a mother can receive, That of her precious child. Love love mum❤️💞

I miss you so much the pain in my heart is enormous. How do I carry it with me for the rest of my life I love you so much Mum xxx